Mr No-All

Denial Mode

"There is no drug scene in Goa. It is created by the media, by press people. You will not get drugs here.” That was Goa’s home minister Ravi Naik. Normally one would say famous last words, but in the case of Ravi Naik, any comment from him has a Teflon effect on him (And he has made many including the insensitive one that women should not wear dupattas after Mahanand Naik was found to be involved in serial killings and all the victims had been strangled with a dupatta). So, although former CM Manohar Parrikar says he is “unfit” to be a minister, nothing is likely to come of it. You don’t believe me? Look at Exhibit A – Scarlet Keeling whose viscera was found to contain a cocktail of drugs and booze. So much for Ravi Naik’s denial. Take a walk down Baga’s roads and I’ll bet the whiff of the sweet-smelling marijuana will assail your nostrils. So no potheads at the rave parties, Mr Minister?

But Naik’s made a career out of denials. Soon after a Russian teenager, Elena Sukhonova was found mysteriously dead on the tracks within hours after she was found till 3 a.m. in a popular Baga hangout, Ravi Naik said foreigners conduct themselves “irresponsibly” in Goa. Not only did that comment get the Russian consul’s back up, it also disturbed people in various sections of society. But the only thing he did not deny is Jyoti Dhavalikar’s involvement with the Sanatan Sanstha which was allegedly behind the Margao blasts. He, in fact, said police was investigating the fact that she seemed to be a volunteer at the sprawling Sanstha premises every day. But wait, is not Jyoti’s husband, Goa’s transport minister Sudin Dhavalikar, his bête noire? Different strokes for different folks.

No Denying This Though

The PMO is concerned over the cost of central ministers blabbing over their mobiles and has asked mobile providers to connect with it. Together they want to bring down costs so that the yak yakking of montris is not going to cost you and me big bucks. You can bet the PMO is concerned, and so should Digambar Kamat be. But then again in the land of freebies and subsidies, who cares? The Chief Minister (9822129339) himself talked up a bill of Rs 37,682.16 between April 2007 and March 2008 chalking up an incredible Rs 10,130.63 in November 2007. On his second official mobile (9922508060) he clocked Rs 11,866.71. Total: Rs 49,548.87. The Home Minister (9922508066), Mr. Denial Mode himself actually denied his vocal cords considerably. He didn’t talk between April-June 2007 and in August 2007 and incurred a bill of only Rs 6,192.97 during the same said above period. Incidentally, when the Sanathan Sanstha episode broke out, one journalist reported that he answered his mobile but excused himself saying he was “in the bathroom” and could the caller call after 20 minutes. Twenty minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, even sixty minutes later, he did not bother to pick up his phone. Talking up a storm is clearly not one of his vices!

The Minister for Finance (9822165611) cost you Rs 1,47,470.62. Yes, that’s right. His walkathon in August 2007 cost you Rs 65,944.74. Now August has 31 days, so that would mean he yakked at a cost of Rs 2,127. His continuous chatter in September 2007 cost you Rs 22,692.69.

Talking, Walking

Like the Ad says, ‘Talking, Walking’. But do heed this statutory warning: Copying them could cause you Lock Jaw. Still don’t you wish that all your Montris observed Maunvrat (Vow of Silence). Better still in the Himalayas! The Minister for Revenue (9922941761) ran up a bill of Rs 47,955.92. The Minister for Forests/Water (9822198009) ran up a bill of Rs 12,330.62. The Minister for Transport (9822180645) ran up a bill for Rs 42,816.83. The Minister for Fisheries/Urban Development (9822188899) chalked up a bill of Rs 1,63,613.32. His talking in October 2007 toted up a bill of Rs 50,020.97 which went from your tax money. He continued to chatter into the next month too (November) recording Rs 54,636.98. You would be right if you thought either of the two bills would set the talkathon record for your Walking, Talking and I might add Flying Montris. You are so wrong. Your walking, talking handsfree champ is someone else, so don’t switch to silent mode yet. Wait a week more.

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