December 17, 2008- Very Iffi

Feathered friends
Last week I wrote about N. Suranarayana, the former tourism director and controversial CCP administrator who quit his government top job under strange circumstances flying 12 times abroad. Had he not quit, it can be assumed he would have continued flying, breaking or creating
new records, you can never tell in Goa. For the record and for the birdies amongst us, these are the records of a genuine species that have to keep soaring in the skies to stay fit and healthy; and for free. Fastest-moving bird: diving peregrine falcon at 188 km/h, fastest flapping flight: white-throated needle-tailed swift at 170 km/h, fastest level-flight: red-breasted merganser at 161 km/h, longest flying bird: sooty terns, they can go 3-10 years without landing, longest flying (land bird): common swift, can go up to 3 years without landing, fastest bird flying: racing pigeon, at about 100 mph. You have something to compare with now.

Can-do Cannes
While tourism fairs attract most of Goa's frequent flyers, the Cannes Film Festival in France appears to have an equal magnetic attraction for some. This category is down to a fortunate few however because mercifully Goa does not have a minister for IFFI. Nevertheless, Cannes is a can-do fly that is becoming popular.

Cannes Trekkers
Nandini Paliwal, CEO, Nikhil Dessai, General Manager and Ethel D' Costa, PRO of the Entertainment Society of Goa (ESG) flew to Cannes in May 2007 at a cost of Rs7,78,543. Among the others who flew to Cannes (in May 2006) were the Chief Secretary, JP Singh, the then ESG CEO Sanjit Rodrigues, Anju Timblo and Francisco Martins, both generally considered to be permanent and exclusive members of ESG's governing body. According to the ESG a team from the Directorate of Information and Publicity also went to Cannes in 2004 and footed its own bill. In addition a consultant Uma de Cunha was hired in 2006-07 at a cost of Rs25,000 "for advice on programming of film" whatever that means. But by far the most startling disclosure by the ESG under the RTI is the fact it paid A.F Ferguson & Co a massive Rs17,95,840 for "financial
consultancy on (the) multiplex tender and (the) Old GMC re-adaptive use tender."

Postcript
How's this for adaptableness? In plain English it means that the government that can't afford garbage compacters or money to prevent the dangerous erosion of the coast (it asked the Centre for funds last week) spent that kind of money on a bit of consultancy that caused it much heartburn when more than one loophole in the Inox contract was exposed (by GT) and to advise it on how to rent out the heritage GMC building to a mall owner albeit the only rabbit it pulled out of its bag of tricks was the use of inspiring lingo like 're-adaptive use.'
After all when you sell your newspaper pile as radhi for what you think is gainfully more money, you don't call it re-adaptive use or, something quainter like 'backward integration' or if you like 'forward integration' of your spent newspapers. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? It's as much a misnomer as aam aadmi and 'jobs for youth?'

Reel life
Asked on what basis ESG's Team Cannes is picked, the RTI replied "the persons were selected on the basis of their work area ie the organization of film festival and promotion of IFFI in Goa and Goa as (a) film destination." Really now. Isn't 'promoting Goa' beginning to sound a tad clichéd. For instance, the government sends teams of tourism officials globetrotting and yet finds reason to spend crores advertising on boring BBC.

Reporting back
The report Paliwal, Desai and D'Costa submitted along with another tour member Diwan Chand, the Special Secretary (I&P) on their return has hardly been implemented at IFFI. Nearly all of the expert opinions in the report could in fact have been gathered by interviewing Indian film critics who have gone to Cannes or downloaded from the Internet.
The most glaring variation or failure to implement is the registration process. The ESG report: "The registration process (Cannes) follows a hierarchy where the film producers, actors, directors, buyers, sellers, sales agent etc are accorded the highest preference and priority for various events in the festival." It goes on to state how 90 per cent of bookings (Cannes) are done Online! Hasn't every global entertainment or sporting event been sold Online for decades? Is there a more transparent way?

Other Cannes can't-does
The other and rather mundane categories reported on by the team are 'opening ceremony 'street décor' 'merchandise' 'festival volunteers' ' beach screening' 'film market' 'travel and hospitality' 'transport arrangements' 'sponsorships' 'media management.' Yet at each IFFI, the anaesthetized Press Information Bureau (PIB) commandeers the press accreditation process and turns it typically Mumbai and Delhi centric.
The ESG report: "From January onwards (Cannes is held in May) requests for accreditation are open by post." Compare this with the PIB's eleventh hour intervention each year, not to mention the normal finishing touches that take place even as IFFI starts. In fact in its recommendations ESG admitted that: "Multiple accreditations for the same media house (as noticed last where Times of India was given 10 accreditation for 10 different publications) should be discouraged and relegated to two accreditations per media house/TV channel." As for IFFI's publications and kits, much has been written about the howlers in them each year. Nuff said this week.

Bleeding Hearts Club
The new member to the club's only other member Mummy is a mine owner. What's with the M's I'd like to know? Funny, how the man who made his millions if not billions selling Goa's precious red earth and India's wealth cheaply first to the Japanese and later to the Chinese, now seeks to protect the topsoil! Point is can you believe him?